In Honour of the Croffle - The Worst Food Hybrids Ever

What is a Croffule, you may ask?

I myself did not know such a thing existed until yesterday when Cuisine De France opened a pop-up Boulangerie on Dublin's Camden Street. 


Normally, a sentence like this would set my carb-loving heart racing. Boulangerie. Pastry makers. Pop-up. All my favourite things. But when I saw that the star of the show was "The Croffule", I did find myself going "Huh?"


It's a cross between a croissant and a waffle. Which, seems contradictory to me. The winning aspect of a croissant is its soft, light, fluffy and  layers, while a waffle is dense and crispy. Mixing these two together just seems like you're destroying the best aspects of them both. I wasn't the only one who was perplexed by the invention; check out this amusing post from Katia at Proper Food

Just to clarify - I love Cuisine De France (big consumer for many years now) and Louise Lennox (amazing chef and all 'round good person). But this is a bridge too far for me in the hybrid world. 

In fact, over the last number of years, we've lost the run of ourselves when it comes to hybrid food. After hearing much hype about Dominique Ansel's Cronut in 2013, I found myself decidedly underwhelmed when I finally tried one here in Ireland. 

Credit: Wikipedia

But this was the just the beginning of a whole host of bizarre food marriages. In honour of the Croffle, I've decided to take a trip down memory lane, examining other unnecessary food hybrids. 

CHOCOLATE ECLAIR HOT DOG 



You can thank Maple Lodge Farms for coming up with this one. Two words: Nah, Babes. 


TURDUCKEN


Because you know what meat needs? More meat! This is a turkey stuffed with chicken and duck. Having actually eaten one of these, I can say definitively it is a nasty and unpleasant experience. 

WAFFLE TACO


Waffle, good. Taco, good. But together? Why? Just why?


RAMEN BURGER


This is the invention of your drunken mind when you get home at 4am and are starving. It should only be consumed under those circumstances. 


GUACAMOLE FRIES



While I don't believe that crap that my generation can't buy a house because of all the avocados we eat, the obsession with this food is ridiculous. It's in everything, everywhere and it's just not needed. Nor is it needed in this incarnation of guac fries. 


DOUBLE DOWN DOG


Cause you know what your hot dog needs? Chicken! It needs to be wrapped in fried chicken because AMERICA.

And finally...


SUSHI BURRITO
The Japanese created something wonderful and beautiful and fresh with sushi. So naturally, we had to wreck it. I feel sick even at the thought of eating this whole thing. 


All of you - get in the f*cking sea. 


Comments

  1. if this shows anythings it shows how boring OP is

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